You already know how this goes.
One of you brings it up. The other hears an accusation. You are back in the argument you were in last month, and the month before, and neither of you can remember what started it.
Or there is no argument at all. You are polite. You handle the logistics, the children, the calendar. You go whole weeks without saying anything that costs you something, and the quiet has started to feel permanent.
You have both tried. You have read the book, tried the check-ins, agreed to do better. Nothing holds, because the problem is not the argument. It is the pattern underneath it, and you can’t see it from inside it.
Two ways people come to therapy.
As an individual
You're performing well and running on empty. The pressure hasn't let up and the way you've been managing it has stopped working. You want to understand why, not just cope better.
As a couple
The same argument, the same ending, every time. Or no argument at all, just distance. You want to know whether this is fixable and what it would take.
“We’re growing apart and feel more like married roommates.”
“We keep having the same fight over and over, or worse, we just avoid it altogether.”
“I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around my partner.”
“I just found out my partner had an affair and we aren’t sure if we want to stay together or end things.”
“I can’t even remember the last time we had sex.”
Services
Couples Therapy
For partners who love each other and keep missing each other. Emotional disconnection, communication, trust, and betrayal.
Individual Therapy
For the high-functioning who feel it privately, anxiety, burnout, and the quiet cost of always performing.
Couples Intensive
Three focused hours on a Saturday for couples at a turning point, in crisis, or wanting to begin with a deep dive.
Therapy that keeps pace with your life, not the other way around.
Meet Lisa.
Licensed clinical social worker, over 25 years in private practice in New York. I'm direct. I'll tell you what I see, including when it's uncomfortable, and I'll stay with you while you work out what to do about it.
More about Lisa →How starting works.
The consultation
A free twenty-minute call. You tell me what is going on and what you want to be different. I tell you honestly whether I am the right person for it, and if I am not, I point you toward someone who is.
The first session
Virtual, or in person at the Flatiron office on Thursdays. Couples come together. We cover the history, the pattern you keep landing in, and what each of you wants out of the work.
The work
Weekly sessions, 50 minutes. Couples who want to move faster can begin with a three-hour Saturday intensive. We check on what is changing and adjust as we go.
My best work is with people who want to be told the truth. If you are looking for someone to keep the peace, or to referee who is right, I am not the right fit. If you want to understand what keeps happening and are willing to look at your own part in it, we will get somewhere.